I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
