my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize