I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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