Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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