I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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