my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
