i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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