You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
