I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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