That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
