this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize