I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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