your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
