Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
