I must be too annoying 4 u.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
