he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You can't motorboat a personality
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
