i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
it's like heaven, but drunker
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
