sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
