needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
