6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
