forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My ass is underappreciated
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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