That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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