He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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