If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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