I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Are we still banned from the library?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
