it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
