chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
