Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
