either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
sex in a hospital.. check
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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