Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
