shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
