Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?

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(845): View more from New York

all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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(303): View more from Colorado

She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.

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(330): View more from Ohio

now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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(360): View more from Washington

Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.

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(573): View more from Missouri

So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet

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