ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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