Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
