I bet he comes in French.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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