Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize