My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
