How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
