Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize