Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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