school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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