By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize