hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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