life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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