I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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