So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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