What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
