Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
