Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
