I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
