5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
