I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
