and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
