I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize