So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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