Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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