honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just pee around me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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